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Successful Single Parenting

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Successful Single Parenting


Parenthood isn’t easy, even when there are two of you and under the most ideal conditions. It entails a lot of responsibilities. When you are a solo parent who must face all the challenges on your own, parenting can become an unnerving and monumental task. From watching over the children to providing their every need, there may be times when you wish the other parent was there with you. This kind of thinking won’t help – seeking help can. Take heart, you are not alone.

Single-parent households more than tripled In the United States in the recent years, says The Trumpet. The UCG – Beyond Today concurs and says that the statistics continue to rise in America. “The trend is similar in other Western nations.”  Considering the number of single parent households, finding help will not be that difficult. You can succeed better when you have a community to support you – family, friends, and other single parents or local support groups.

Considering the rise and fall of emotions that may overwhelm you, do not forget to seek the help of a counselor. Counseling can help you recognize the opportunities that single parenthood and/or single families can bring. It can also help you sustain your emotional health, something you will need in performing your dual roles – as a mom and a dad to your child/children.


The Truth About Single Parenting

How does a single parent raise a child successfully on his/her own? There is no “hard and fast rule” or answer to the question, but it is generally acknowledged to be extremely tough, considering the immense responsibilities involved. If raising a child with another parent is difficult enough, imagine what it’s like to be a single parent. It is both challenging and overwhelming.

Imagine taking care of and supporting a child while finding a way to keep a job and a home. Think of all the decisions you must make – from finding babysitters or help, so you can get out of the house to earn a living, to choosing their pediatrician, their school, etc.  As a solo parent, you are tasked to care for and meet your child’s every need – material, emotional, spiritual – aside from your own. Thus, you can be saddled with “responsibility overload,” so that it’s easy to become overwhelmed.

Whether it was a personal preference to be a single parent, or an unfortunate circumstance brought you to this, you are in a difficult situation. If you have more than one child and you lost your spouse, one way or another, there can be more issues at hand. There could be feelings of grief, betrayal, remorse/guilt, or anger. You can also be faced with more responsibilities if you have more children.


The Emotional and Physical Toll

There are unique challenges that you must face when you are a single parent. Because the person/people at stake are your own children, the price you have to pay is high. Without a co-parent, you may have to juggle two jobs to provide for your child or children’s needs. Keeping multiple jobs, not to mention doing demanding domestic and parenting chores can be an overwhelming life and it can take a toll on your physical health.

There are also emotional challenges associated with single parenthood. If it has been precipitated by a painful event, such as death, divorce or abandonment, you could be in pain, grief, or feeling resentment, guilt, or confusion. It also might not be easy to find the right words to say when your child asks you about the parent they never met, or that they are missing now that he/she isn’t around anymore. Regardless of the surrounding circumstances and the deep emotions, you may be pushing yourself hard to achieve balance at home, while crying on the inside.

There are single parents who endure a stigma. If this is your case, you could be ridden with intense negative emotions, while continuing with your multiple tasks and responsibilities. It is important not to take these emotions for granted because they can consume you, especially when compounded by other issues, such as unemployment, socioeconomic disadvantages, a sick child, lack of support, etc. Maintaining your emotional health is critical for your sake and in ensuring that your child/children are provided with a healthy family climate, as well.


The Joys of a Single Parent

Raising children alone isn’t for the fainthearted, but believe it or not, it is not as awful as you may think. Single parenting can be a constructive experience for several reasons. While being married or having a partner can be a better situation, it isn’t always the case. According to, there are some wonderful benefits to being a single parent.

If you have a rocky marriage, single parenting could be a preferable option because it can create a better alternative home or conducive environment for children to be responsible and independent early. Seeing how you juggle your jobs while maintaining a home and parenting them at the same time, they can mature faster than other children their age. There is no need to worry about having less opportunities for the children. According to the National Bureau of Economic Research, a Washington, D.C.- based research group, “The children of many single-parent families have the same success as those with married parents.”

Parenthood is like a rollercoaster ride, whether you are a solo parent, or you have a partner in your endeavor. There will often be many difficulties, but it also offers joys that no amount of money can buy. Because it is full of challenges, succeeding in this role can help you be a better, stronger parent and a person. When you have no one to count on or to “take the next shift,” you are pushed to be the best mom/dad that you can be. While becoming a single parent may not be a goal you aimed at, succeeding in raising a child alone can happen and it is worth celebrating.


Seeking Help to Succeed

To succeed in raising your child as a single parent, break free from the traditional belief called the “deficit theory.” This theory “views single-parent families as ‘broken’ and somehow doomed to develop problems which can cause guilt in divorced parents,” says Nancy C. Morrison of the Journal of Divorce and Remarriage. Such a viewpoint can stand in the way of success for solo parents.

Breaking free from such convention is not easy. Recognize that you have “hurdles” as a solo mom or dad and that you might need some help. Seek the help of others for specific tasks you need to do. The most successful single moms and dads are those who keep their connections with others. Aside from the help that will allow you to perform your job and parenting tasks, a counselor can help you to sustain your emotional wellness. The numerous challenges can weaken your resolve and confidence – you can become vulnerable to overwhelm.

Negativity can aggravate your challenges and issues. It can sap your energy, which you need to perform the dual roles you have as a parent. It can distress you and steal the happiness from your household. It can result in your situation being more difficult. So, it is better to be optimistic. A counselor can help you keep grief, anger/resentment, envy, guilt, and bitterness at bay. Counseling can also help improve family communications, so successful solo parenting is more achievable. Regardless the reason for your single parenthood, stay positive.


Succeeding with CCS – North Fayetteville Office

The adage that says… “It takes a community to raise a child,” underscores the value of having a support system to bring up a child well. While co-parenting works well in many families, having a traditional family isn’t always possible for everyone.  If single parenting happens, for one reason or another, be brave because help is available – you can count on a caring counselor independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – North Fayetteville Office – Fayetteville, NC to help.

It is natural to feel apprehensive about building a happy, satisfying home for your child/children when you are a single parent. Don’t worry, though, because they can have the same opportunities and success as the children of intact couples. Find your courage in knowing that you are not alone. You have a community to help you. More importantly, you have the experience of a counselor/therapist independently contracted with CCS – North Fayetteville Office – Fayetteville, NC to help you through. With counseling, you can rediscover fresh opportunities arising from single parenting. Call today!

Serving Areas: Carolina Counseling Services

Counties: Cumberland, Bladen and Sampson Counties, NC
Areas: Fayetteville NC, Ft Bragg NC, Pope Field NC, Sliver City NC, Linden NC, Bowmore NC, Autryville NC, Bunnlevel NC, Erwin NC, Dundarrach NC, Pineview NC, Rex NC, Lemon Springs NC, Johnsonville NC, Eastover NC, Stedman NC and Wade, NC
Zip Codes: 28311, 28395, 28390, 28356

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Carolina Counseling Services – North Fayetteville Office, Fayetteville, NC

422 McArthur Road, Suite 2
FayettevilleNC 28311

Our Mailing Address:

PO BOX 9909
Fayetteville, NC 28311

Choose your Therapist

  • Becky Clark, MSW, LCSW

    Specializes in: (Ages 18+) Anxiety, Depression, Individuals, Couples, Geriatrics, Criminal Justice, Stress Management, Loss and Grief related to death, disability, divorce, deployment, “empty nest”, retirement and other major life transitions
    Insurance: BCBS, Tricare, Medicare, and Cash

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    Location: Fayetteville, NC