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Stopping Depression from Destroying Your Marriage

Counseling for depression in marriage, couples counseling, marriage counseling,Carolina Counseling Services North Fayetteville Office Fayetteville NC, CCS

Stopping Depression from Destroying Your Marriage


The quality of your life can depend on the quality of your relationships with others. Relationships are often fundamentally the source of happiness and success, in the same way that they can also bring you pain and despair. When you are experiencing difficulty with your primary relationships, specifically with your wife or husband, it can be difficult for you to find joy in other things.

In a study of married American couples, results reveal that depression increases marital dissatisfaction and divorce. It documents the correlation between depression and dysfunctional marital interaction. A depressed spouse with a higher level of dissatisfaction with the relationship is more likely to have a spouse who is also greatly dissatisfied with the marriage. In other words, relationship problems can give rise to depression, and depression can play a part in relationship issues.

According to the study, a marriage where one or both partners have depression is nine times more likely to end in divorce. This proves that allowing depression to persist can be a real threat to a marriage. Thus, if you or your spouse is exhibiting signs of depression, it is best that you seek professional help to treat the symptoms. This is also a logical first step toward saving your union.


Depression as a Third Wheel

Many couples find it difficult to accept the possibility that depression can disrupt their marriage. That is because depression has a way of negatively distorting the perception and resulting in it being more difficult to feel satisfied with an otherwise healthy relationship. One depressed spouse can result in the whole marriage being in a depressed state. This emotional condition can erode the bond between a once caring couple.

Living with a depressed spouse can suffuse you with feelings of being unloved, confusion, pessimism, demoralization, anger, and resentment. Even if you are the ablest partner, you can be easily carried away by depression’s strong undercurrent. What spouse would not feel overwhelmed by extra household chores that a depressed partner has no energy to finish? Would you not feel aggrieved because your depressed spouse will not simply ‘snap out of” the depressive state? Do you somehow blame yourself for it?

You are not alone. Depression is one of the most common emotional illnesses affecting an estimated 19 million Americans. It includes 42 percent respondents who blame the insidious condition as a major challenge in their marriage. It is not a choice or a sad feeling that will go away in time. If you or your spouse is depressed, there is no way to simply “get over it” and get on with life on your own.


The Relationship Symptoms of Depression

Depression is a physical illness as debilitating as other medical health conditions, such as heart disease and diabetes. It is caused by dramatic changes in brain chemistry that affect moods and thoughts, change sleep and appetite patterns, and modify energy levels. Although genetics usually play a role, a number of external factors can set off depression, including financial problems, parenting, stress, and chronic illness. Marriage itself is one contributing factor that increases the risk.

Identifying the symptoms that hurt your relationship will give you the power to take step in preventing depression from destroying your marriage. Here are some of the warning signs that depression is present in your marriage.


  • Withdrawal from partner; loss of interest or excessive need for constant affirmation from partner
  • Loss or diminished interest in intimacy; avoiding partner’s affection
  • Lack or loss of motivation or energy to engage in couple activities
  • Sleep troubles, whether oversleeping or staying awake at night
  • Overeating, secretive binging
  • Frequent engagement in arguments, sudden outbursts and unusually critical of partner
  • Spending more time watching TV, playing video games, or other distractions instead of doing household chores
  • Extreme display of jealousy and intense reaction to rejection or criticism


If you recognize these symptoms in your marriage, it is highly possible that depression is hurting your relationship. The good news is that you can immediately take action and do something to protect your marriage.


Sustaining the Resilience of Your Marriage

Depression can challenge even the most loving and resilient marriage as it is thrown in the middle of so many difficulties. It can result in you or your spouse becoming emotionally disconnected. Because information is processed differently, words and actions can be easily misunderstood or perceived, even by spouses.  Depression can also strain, not only your intimate relationship, but also the other aspects of life. It can contribute to the financial problems and responsibilities of the emotionally healthy spouse and children.

How then can you keep your marriage strong? If you have a “depressed marriage” depression therapy and marriage counseling can help.

Depression is an emotional condition. Therefore, the symptoms that weigh down the affected spouse will not just get better by sheer will power or home remedies alone. The depressed spouse needs to receive treatment and feel better for the symptoms to be eased and resolved, and to restore the overall functioning of the pair.

If depression has caused deep issues in your marriage, it would be productive to seek marriage counseling as well. A good therapist and marriage counselor can help you reestablish and improve your damaged communication. This is very important in reviving and strengthening your relationship as well as in resolving your other issues.


Fighting for Your Marriage

Depression is an unwanted third party that can bring about widespread damage to your health, marriage, and home life. You do not want to invite or allow this outside force to affect your relationship. If there is depression in your marriage, it is not wise to wait for it to leave you alone for it may only increase the chances of damaging your union.

Trying to resolve this misunderstood illness on your own may only raise the risks for both you and your spouse. Living with a depressed partner can cause the non-depressed spouse to be susceptible to the condition. The longer depression is allowed to persist in a union, the more difficult the process of treatment can be. This is especially true when accompanied by other depression-related issues, such as substance abuse, domestic violence, and self-harming. The stakes are high, but the odds of reviving a marriage strained by depression are in your favor if you act without haste.

There is an alternative to staying in marriage and merely enduring it. It isn’t walking away from your depressed wife/husband or allowing your marriage to “fizzle out.” The healthy and optimistic option is to seek depression therapy and marriage counseling from an experienced relationship counselor/therapist independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – North Fayetteville Office – Fayetteville, NC. If the primary reason for the depressed state of your marriage is depression, you can save your union with depression therapy and marriage counseling.

There is more than a ray of hope for your marriage. The independently contracted counselors at Carolina Counseling Services – North Fayetteville Office – Fayetteville, NC are specially trained to help couples, or individuals receive the right kind of treatment for depression. One of them may be the right fit professional who will work with you to resolve depression as a couple, and help your marriage bounce back to its original luster and joy. Call now to request an appointment.

Serving Areas: Carolina Counseling Services

Counties: Cumberland, Bladen and Sampson Counties, NC
Areas: Fayetteville NC, Ft Bragg NC, Pope Field NC, Sliver City NC, Linden NC, Bowmore NC, Autryville NC, Bunnlevel NC, Erwin NC, Dundarrach NC, Pineview NC, Rex NC, Lemon Springs NC, Johnsonville NC, Eastover NC, Stedman NC and Wade, NC
Zip Codes: 28311, 28395, 28390, 28356

Counseling Information

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Carolina Counseling Services – North Fayetteville Office, Fayetteville, NC

422 McArthur Road, Suite 2
FayettevilleNC 28311

Our Mailing Address:

PO BOX 9909
Fayetteville, NC 28311

Choose your Therapist

  • Becky Clark, MSW, LCSW

    Specializes in: (Ages 18+) Anxiety, Depression, Individuals, Couples, Geriatrics, Criminal Justice, Stress Management, Loss and Grief related to death, disability, divorce, deployment, “empty nest”, retirement and other major life transitions
    Insurance: BCBS, Tricare, Medicare, and Cash

    Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

    Location: Fayetteville, NC