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Marriage Counseling After the Birth of a Baby

Marriage counseling after the birth of a baby with Carolina Counseling Services Fayetteville NC,couples counseling for arrival of newborn child,proactive marriage counseling,marriage therapist that specialize in parenting issues,marriage counselor for couples with a new baby Fayetteville NC

Marriage Counseling After the Birth of a Baby


Nothing can bring more joy into a household than the advent of a new baby. Having a baby is a couple’s way to celebrate or strengthen their relationship. Just looking into the face of the newborn infant can give true happiness that is difficult to eclipse. While the birth of a new baby can be a great source of joy, it can also usher several changes that can be stressful even to the best of relationships. 

Transforming from being a couple to being parents is not a breeze. When the dust settles after the baby is born, it can be tricky for any marriage to be the same as it was. Having a baby involves lifestyle adjustments, role changes, additional demands, and financial difficulties that couples may recognize the need for help. Having a baby is a commitment that can challenge and lead to unnecessary strain on the marital relationship. It may be beneficial to proactively protect your marriage with counseling.


Relationship Stress After the Baby’s Arrival


  • Couple time – The birth of a child is undeniably a major milestone in many relationships. It now takes precedence over intimacy given the time and commitment required to tend to the many needs and obligations that come with the new role as parents. Apart from the need for the woman’s body to heal after childbirth, caring for the new baby can come between couples, and as statistics put it bluntly, marital satisfaction decreases as soon as the first child is born.


  • Motherhood exhaustion – Many women, especially new mothers, tend to feel extremely isolated after giving birth. Mothers take the lion’s share of the essential work to respond to the new baby’s demand for care and attention almost 24/7. Even with the support of the father, much of the responsibilities fall on the mother’s lap. Caring for the new baby may also cut many mothers from their networks and isolate them from their contacts, leading to depression or resentment.


  • Fatherhood transition – Transitioning from being a husband to dad is a foundational shift that may be difficult for some new fathers to adjust to. The fact that a new baby will consume much of the undivided time and attention previously dedicated by their spouse to them can be a completely an overwhelming experience. There may be times when the wife may neglect the emotional and physical needs of the husband due to the need to prioritize childcare. With a new baby in the picture, the husband’s patience may wear thin and he may start finding faults against the spouse.


  • Family dynamics – A new addition to the family may leave some members feeling “left out”. The new situation may also cause a change in roles and responsibilities, which members may find difficult to accept. The shift in focus primarily directed to the new baby may cause resentment or anger in those family members who feel threatened about the change in the unit structure.


  • Financial strain – A new baby can undeniably put the family and the relationship under financial pressure. It becomes necessary for parents to allot a part of the budget to support the needs of the baby, in lieu of the luxuries previously enjoyed, such as travels, eating out, or expensive clothes. Supporting a baby costs a lot of money, which can cause a strain on the relationship if you need to give up some essential expenditures for the baby’s sake.


  • Physical health – The new baby can affect how you care for yourself. Caring for an infant may drastically impact the amount of personal time you devote for some chores like eating, taking a bath and sleeping. Lack of sleep is a reality for many parents after the birth of a child. Without quality sleep, it can be easy for the flames of resentment to ignite. As tension builds up, it can be difficult to be objective and empathic to each others’ needs under the circumstances.


Parenthood vs Relationship Dissatisfaction

Having a baby is a blessing that can seriously test relationships. According to research, about two-thirds of couples become dissatisfied within three years after the birth of a child. Sleepless nights, added responsibilities, financial stress, juggling parenthood with a job, raging hormones, scant time for couple talks or intimacy, lack of personal time for oneself, exhaustion and under-appreciated – they all converge to forge an unnecessary strain between you and your spouse.

For some couples, the relationship may take a nosedive when the baby arrives, especially if it is a new experience for one or both parents. Some are able to learn from the experience and thrive on as partners for life. Others, however, are not as skilful in recovering the relationship after experiencing a decline. It may be handy to know some of the signs that a marriage is in danger and the issues behind the signs need to be addressed before they finally drive couples apart.


Some of the main issues facing parents are:


  • Poor communication – A distinct absence or the monopoly of communication can complicate things entirely when one has no chance to voice an opinion or the other spouse takes over every conversation.


  • Jealousy of the baby – It will be natural for one parent or both to spend extended periods of time with the baby. The sense of jealousy may prevail in one partner or the other when they feel they’re being ignored or left out of the relationship. If not addressed, this can lead to resentment.


  • Frequent arguments – Having arguments several times a day is a sure sign that the relationship is spiralling downhill. Resentment and bitterness can result if the arguments escalate and become condescending, insulting, and inconsiderate.


  • Boredom – With a newborn baby, some couples may no longer do new things for fun. While stability is important in any relationship, a dash of novelty to bring forth excitement can help couples remain motivated to stay together.


  • Absence of touch – Physical touch does wonders in keeping that sense of closeness and togetherness between couples. A random touch can actually stimulate the release of a hormone called oxytocin, essential for pair bonding.


Relationships become stronger when both parents reorient their life to prioritize the child. The family of two grows into a family of three and there is no looking back at the previous life. If the father does not have the same goals and emotions as the mother, resentment may result in seeing the mother being preoccupied with the little one. The father loves the child, but he wants his wife back.


Restoring Your Relationship with Your Spouse

The journey from being a couple to becoming parents and being a family can be both tricky and rewarding. The changing roles, social isolation, relationship difficulties, and financial pressure can be a nightmare that can drive one or both partners to the pit of emotional and behavioral health issues. How do you keep your relationship strong and intact when there is a new baby crying out for your attention, emotions and energy?

If you feel that the birth of a new baby is straining and interfering with your relationship, it is important to seek help before the damage worsens. Resolving marital issues is one of the 9 good reasons to seek counseling now. The right fit marriage counselor independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – North Fayetteville Office – Fayetteville, NC will work with you to help you with practical solutions and strategies to meet your new responsibilities as parents. Call, text or send an email to request an appointment. Let us help you face and enjoy the challenges and opportunities that new parenthood brings.

Serving Areas: Carolina Counseling Services

Counties: Cumberland, Bladen and Sampson Counties, NC
Areas: Fayetteville NC, Ft Bragg NC, Pope Field NC, Sliver City NC, Linden NC, Bowmore NC, Autryville NC, Bunnlevel NC, Erwin NC, Dundarrach NC, Pineview NC, Rex NC, Lemon Springs NC, Johnsonville NC, Eastover NC, Stedman NC and Wade, NC
Zip Codes: 28311, 28395, 28390, 28356

Counseling Information

How Do I Set Up my FIRST Appointment?

  • Call: 910-636-0011 (Fastest way to schedule)
  • Text: 910-308-3291 (Reply will be via phone)
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  • Appointment scheduling for NEW clients: Mon-Fri
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Carolina Counseling Services – North Fayetteville Office, Fayetteville, NC

422 McArthur Road, Suite 2
FayettevilleNC 28311

Our Mailing Address:

PO BOX 9909
Fayetteville, NC 28311

Choose your Therapist

  • Becky Clark, MSW, LCSW

    Specializes in: (Ages 18+) Anxiety, Depression, Individuals, Couples, Geriatrics, Criminal Justice, Stress Management, Loss and Grief related to death, disability, divorce, deployment, “empty nest”, retirement and other major life transitions
    Insurance: BCBS, Tricare, Medicare, and Cash

    Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

    Location: Fayetteville, NC