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Heeding the Neutral Voice to Resolve Family Conflict

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Heeding the Neutral Voice to Resolve Family Conflict


A family is composed of individuals, each unique with diverse thoughts and opinions on every imaginable subject and situation. Add to the mix extended family with their numerous personal beliefs and opinions. It is no wonder for disagreements to occur every now and then. Simply put, conflict is a natural progression of any relationship. In fact, a certain amount of conflict within a family is healthy, far better than having no conflict at all, which can be more alarming for it is indicative of a problem itself.

Unfortunately, family conflict may not always be as simple as that and it does not always end there. Many things can cause conflicts in today’s families – learning to live as a new couple, sibling rivalry, a rebellious child, controlling in-laws, changes in financial circumstances, etc. – the impact on the family can be extremely stressful or destructive.

When the degree and intensity of arguments and hostility reaches the point where the daily functioning, happiness, or the personality of one or more family members is affected, it is in this instance that seeking outside intervention becomes necessary. It is in the best interest of the family to hear a neutral voice to resolve conflict in a healthy way and restore peace and harmony back into the domicile.


Why Conflict Occur in Families

It is inevitable for two or more people with distinct personalities and ideas to have opposing thoughts, much more if they live under the same roof. If presented in a non-threatening manner, the divergent viewpoints can actually be helpful for each other’s growth as individuals. Conflict develops when beliefs or viewpoints clash, when misunderstandings arise, when feelings are hurt, and resentment develops, and when miscommunication breeds mistaken assumptions and subsequent arguments. Conflict is the consequence of a seemingly “bad mix” of personalities in the family that cannot get along.


Here’s a look at some of the reasons for family conflicts:


  • Poor Communication – A family without proper meaningful conversation has a lack of communication. It is easy for disputes to erupt if members do not talk about issues that affect them or the entire family. Negative communication can result in frequent arguments and tension, and members are more likely to experience anxiety and depression. Resolving conflicts with effective communication can be achieved with family counseling.


  • Family Time – In today’s hectic world, it is common for couples to work away from home for long periods of time on a regular basis. If one spouse works, the partner left at home may feel neglected and overwhelmed with house work. The children may feel they are less of a priority. Achieving quality work-family balance is often a cause of conflict due to the fact that more time is spent at work than with the family.


  • Parenting Style – Many couples have different views on how to bring up, discipline and set rules for the children. The parenting styles partners bring into the relationship largely depend on their experience with their own family. The differing approaches may become the source of conflict and even drive partners apart, not to mention causing confusion in the children.


  • Financial Matters – One of the major sources of family conflict involves money matters. It is more heightened during financial difficulties when household bills accumulate, or the family goes into debt. Even when money is present, the family may have endless disputes about the spending habits of members. Disagreements on finances are often one of the main causes of divorce.


  • Stepfamilies – Bringing two sets of families together and blending into one can be difficult for anyone. For many reasons, conflicts arise as both families adjust to different parenting styles and build a connection with each other. It usually takes time to develop and merge into a single family.


  • Family Arguments – A range of issues can trigger arguments in families, from petty quarrels over whose turn to wash the dishes to friction in the relationship with in-laws. Conflicts can quickly draw battle lines. Somewhere down the line, relationships are ultimately destroyed, taking with it several casualties.


In most cases, the issue at hand is never really what the argument is about. The underlying reason is the fear of losing control of someone or something that the family gives much value. The problem generally arises when the members are caught in their individual egos. From then on, rational thinking flies out of the window and conflicts become a survival game, in which everybody emerges as losers.


When to Seek Help for the Family

In the most basic sense, whenever a situation starts to be in command of the family life, affecting each member’s functioning, it is a clear signal that a neutral perspective is needed. Conflicts are an unavoidable part of family life; a light dose is healthy for the relationship. Ongoing stress, however, is not.


The following warning signs indicate that family conflict is taking a toll on the members:


A change in eating habits or sleeping patterns

Unexplained fatigue


Significant weight gain or loss



Physical pains, such as headaches and stomach aches

Alcohol or substance abuse

Academic failures


Allowing issues to persist without resolving them can quickly have power over the family and affect the other people around. While it may never be possible to enjoy a conflict-free family life, it takes counseling to view things in a different, new perspective. Counseling can equip your family with tools to resolve conflict in a healthy and amicable way acceptable to all. Sometimes a nonpartisan and nonjudgmental voice is all that is needed to pave the way for mutual understanding and a harmonious existence.


The Place to Hear a Neutral Voice for Resolving Family Arguments and Conflict

The family is the primary source of support, encouragement and love. Sometimes, however, the relationship is strained due to conflict. Conflict can happen to any family. It is typical, even for a very close-knit family to disagree, given their different views and beliefs. The problem is when conflict escalates when members misunderstand each other and become too angry to listen to one another. It can be stressful to live in a place where there is an ongoing conflict. Apart from a damaged relationship, it can be difficult for the family to rein in their feelings and co-exist with members who turn intentionally hurtful, uncaring or aggressive.

It is often challenging to address family conflicts considering the number of people with different personalities involved, the roles within the family, the pattern of relating to each other and the style of communication. Regardless of the issue or conflict you have in the family, it is possible to generate productive prospects from the challenges with the right kind of help and support. The right fit family counselor independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – North Fayetteville Office – Fayetteville, NC can help.

It will be beneficial for your family and the members to talk and be heard in a place where you can all feel safe. It can be comforting to know that at CCS – North Fayetteville Office – Fayetteville, NC the neutral voice of someone you can trust is waiting to help you and your family. Call now to schedule your first session.

Serving Areas: Carolina Counseling Services – Fayetteville, NC (North)

Counties: Cumberland, Bladen and Sampson Counties, NC

Areas: Fayetteville NC, Ft Bragg NC, Pope Field NC, Silver City NC, Linden NC, Bunnlevel NC, Erwin NC, Dundarrach NC, Rex NC, and Wade, NC

Zip Codes: 28311, 28395, 28390, 28356

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Carolina Counseling Services – North Fayetteville Office, Fayetteville, NC

422 McArthur Road, Suite 2
FayettevilleNC 28311

Our Mailing Address:

PO BOX 9909
Fayetteville, NC 28311

Choose your Therapist

  • Becky Clark, MSW, LCSW

    Specializes in: (Ages 18+) Anxiety, Depression, Individuals, Couples, Geriatrics, Criminal Justice, Stress Management, Loss and Grief related to death, disability, divorce, deployment, “empty nest”, retirement and other major life transitions
    Insurance: BCBS, Tricare, Medicare, and Cash

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    Location: Fayetteville, NC